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Saturday, May 21, 2011

Beneath the Sampaguita Tree

I remember her
And her beauty.

Gentle as an infant's touch,
As powerful as a bull's charge.

I remember her 
And her smile.

In brightness rivalled by none,
None but the sun.

I remember her
Her sweet voice

To the ears like aural honey
Of which only God's taste worthy.

I remember her
And those soft hands

Her heavenly caresses
A treat for the senses.

I remember her
For I loved her

Not for her facade nor posture;
But for she had more.

I remember her 
When we met in secret

Lovers in the moonlight
'Neath the sampaguita tree's sight.

I remember her
When she said:

To our love, God shall be the witness."
A pact we sealed as we kissed.

I remember her
And the promise we made

"To stay forever in each other's arms
Be it in Heaven's grace or Hell's damns."

I remember her
When my sorrows began

She told me she'd appear,
But what came was cold fear.

I remember her
So, so vividly

As I searched for her high and low
With my love for her in tow.

I remember her
And I still do

Every night I returned for her
By the tree, to find her there

I remember her 
And it still burns inside

She returned pale, blood flowing free.
Where we loved--Beneath the Sampaguita Tree.

A Strange Place

I awoke one dreamy morning
To the sound of steel bellowing
Got up, got dressed, heard a box boom
Beside men trapped in a small room.


I fled like a masked caper
And saw men toil hard for paper.
To this they have become enslaved,
And silly black tablets they craved.


Youths move about, heads where feet were,
As to strange tunes their bodies stir.
They worship a squeaking white dwarf
Who dons a bizarre checkered scarf.


Slaves abound, trapped in white boxes,
Guarded by Hell's flaming foxes.
They speak in short bursts of letters,
Hunting little colored critters.


To a long chamber I was trapped,
As it moved, I had to adapt.
For the world had gone askew,
As it raced to the time of new.

Friday, January 1, 2010

An Ode to a Goddess

I would sing a song for you

I'll raise my voice and make it heard beyond the mountains

I would mourn for you
Let my dried tears be your solemn memorial

I would have your portrait hung in my bedroom
And I pray those colors would not fade easily

I would offer burnt sacrifices at your feet
For you are my goddess, eternal and majestic

I would recall how your perfume intoxicated me
So would I with the scent of the flowers upon your tomb

I would never forget to wipe your marble tombstone
And take heart the lyrical epitaph inscribed therein

Never would I forget how you ensnared me
With the gentle slivers of your passionate love

For your life has fulfilled mine
And your death destroyed mine

May the angels in heaven care for you now
And rest happily, my beloved goddess.

Monday, December 7, 2009

I Let The Illusion Go

She was nothing to mourn about
Like these cold, stale winds
And the poisoned frost that it brings,
I curse the words that came from my mouth


It is now time to leave the fantasy behind
The world must go on now
And I, too, should follow
And break these chains from my mind


How I loved her surrealism
Her faint yet sweet touch
The smile which intoxicated me too much
And the way she pulled me into my own cataclysm


How I marveled at her power
The way she twisted me around
And how she thrust me to the ground
Yet I still hold her dear like the sweetest flower


But alas, I know it is time to set her free
And I must continue to my fruitless trail
Which ends until to the bone I am frail
And the world would just let things be
 
She was never mine
As she was never real
And her love I never did feel
So was that lovely little smile


Did I really love that nymph?
Or was I just lost in the madness of things
And this I felt were just one of those vague feelings?
Maybe, just maybe, was she an embodiment of my own filth?


The answer eludes my mind
And I fear it would just be
For there she goes, away from the eye could see
As she leaves, I feel these barbed chains unbind


Yes, I am still a fool
To this perfect creation I still long to be enchained
And with love for her my heart is still filled
But I must let things be, and let time heal my soul.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Justice (Afterlife edition)

The cold night breeze swept past the city, leaving a shiver to every warm-blooded creature. There is nothing to expect from this stereotype of a city. Nothing new to see—only dilapidated buildings, overflowing dumpsters, abandoned children, old people here and there, and the occasional dead petty criminal. Not the kind of environment you want for the kids.

            Police officer Gomez thought the same, so he didn't bother to raise a family. However, he'd occasionally and unwittingly make a child with a hooker he'd hire during his off-duty hours (sometimes even on duty), and he’ll just leave them. 

His life is good, he often thought. 

            He didn't need to dish out money for meals, he'd just come inside an eatery and flash his pistol at the manager, and he'd get anything he wanted, except that young waitress who works during Thursday afternoons. How he wanted to taste young Thursday flesh on a dark alley, but he was so scared of the burly father who works at the kitchen. He looks so big that it seems that a bullet won't mean a thing to him.

            Anyways, he'd stroll out of the eatery after meals and ride his motorcycle which he had christened "Moses", because like Moses did with the Red Sea, the vehicles along the motorway would part and make way for him. Those who didn't would drown like the Egyptians—not in seawater, but in ghost fees. His life was good, and so were his other mates at the force. Without them, he thought, the city would be in chaos and disorder.

There were men far greater than Gomez in the force—his deeds were merely child's play in comparison to the others. Some were involved in narcotics trade; some were employed as hired guns and some rape children. How Gomez wished he could be like them, but he hated to admit that he was too much of a pussy to commit their acts of greatness.

            On nights that he would be left alone, he'd look up and wonder whether he would be worthy to ascend there when the time comes. He had been such a dick, but he had no choice—his body wants it, his soul craves for it. However, he is a good crime fighter—he took so much delight in busting petty thieves and other little urchins unaffiliated with big criminal groups. He didn't meddle with the boys from the big ones, because he himself isn't with them. He didn't mess with them, nor did he help them.
A few days ago, he noticed a few persons who seemed to have been following him. He'd feel their stare burning his back. From the city park to the red light district, he could feel them. He'd look for the faces, but they just melted into the crowd—so concealed; so insignificant. For a few moments, they'd be gone, but once in a while, he could feel he's being put under surveillance. He could feel them when he stopped to smoke. He could feel them as he entered the eatery for a free lunch. He could even feel them as he entered the brothel. 

They're everywhere, he thought.

For days and days, that same feeling followed him. Wherever he went, whatever he did, he could feel a pair of eyes or a pair of ears trained on him. Slowly, he thought he was like a rabbit being stalked by silent yet deadly wolves but he just shook that thought off. 

I'm the wolf 'round these parts, he thought to himself, and his anxieties would vanish.

            He kept that mentality, and he wasn't disturbed by the stalkers anymore. They were still there, but he just didn't mind them. As a matter of fact, the thought of having someone watch him made him even bolder—the cigarette vendor whom he used to give a coin for a smoke would now see a gun and would lose a pack of cigarettes from her wares. Gomez even took a hooker and didn't bother to do the deed in the brothel. Instead, he took his pleasure of the woman in a damp and dark alleyway. "You like that? WOO!" he'd ask out loud after he did these things, much to the perverted delight of his woman.

            One day, the stalkers thought they wanted to be noticed by Gomez, so they stepped up the act. Gomez was on Moses, and when the traffic light turned red, a dark sedan with tinted windows pulled to his right. He was strangely drawn to this vehicle, and when he turned to look, the driver lowered his window to look at the cop through dark sunglasses. Gomez tried to approach the driver, but the light turned green and the sedan sped, leaving the gutsy cop dumbfounded. However, Gomez saw the plate number and made sure he remembered it. 

No one looks at me like that, he murmured through clenched teeth.

There was another day when he was walking along the city's crowded and sweaty streets, he walked past a man wearing a t-shirt, jeans and sunglasses. He was not the sedan driver, but they had the same burning stare. Gomez tried to get the guy, but he seemed to have vanished into the crowd. Every day, he saw men wearing sunglasses looking at him and most of the time, they'd pass by him. Everytime he tried to apprehend one of them, they'd simply vanish. It was strange and irritating for Gomez. Each day he saw one of them, it slowly drove him mad.

            He saw them enough for one day that he had some beer and let the alcohol take over the thought of the sunglassed men in his mind. He went to his favorite eatery for dinner, drunk and stressed. To his surprise, the young and pretty waitress was there, even though it was not a Thursday afternoon. Due to drunken wanton, he grabbed the young lady and tried to kiss and touch her in the parts a father would be angry to see.

The girl started to scream, and her huge father came bursting out of the kitchen with a knife, red with rage. The angry father's raging eyes and the policeman's drunken eyes met. Gomez shoved the girl aside and bared his fists to the huge man, issuing a challenge. The man dropped his knife and assumed a fighting stance. Gomez rushed to the man with a fist, but the huge man was surprisingly fast and Gomez was drunk. Gomez swung and missed, but the man hit with strong and fast blows. Gomez thought he had the man with a straight, but the angry father parried the strike and hit Gomez with a straight of his own to the face, which sent Gomez to the floor. As Gomez hit the floor, all the alcohol left his system and he was able to think clearly. The man stooped to Gomez and grabbed his collar to hit him again, but the policeman was able to draw his pistol and shot the burly man in the chest.

From the corner of his eye, he saw three sunglass-wearing men observing him throughout the whole murderous ordeal. When he turned around, he saw that the dusty street had a lot of sunglassed men scattered throughout the crowd. By this, he was driven mad and pursued the two nearest him, leaving the father dying and the daughter crying for help while cursing Gomez at the top of her lungs.
The sunglassed men fled as they realized they were being chased by Gomez. Gomez, in his fleeting frustration, ran after the two fleeing strangers, determined to get them this time. He felt that it all seemed to be part of some elaborate plan. Even with that knowledge, he just let it unfold before him, thanks to his cockiness. The two men hastily entered an old apartment building. Gomez charged through the rickety doors and he saw the two men flying up the stairs.

            As Gomez reached the second floor landing, he found out that he had lost track of the two strangers. Just as he was about to go berserk out of frustration, he heard a door slam shut, revealing where his targets are. He raced up the corridor, towards the door.

            He kicked the door open, and he saw the two men lying on the floor without the sunglasses. He saw two pairs of blank and lifeless eyes coupled with foaming mouths. They've poisoned themselves, as if they've served their purpose already. On a corner of the room, Gomez saw something which confirmed his conspiracy theory—there were pictures of the whole police force pinned up on the wall. On a nearby table, there were thick folders each labeled with names of the police officers, including him.

            He read all the folders carefully, and for every first page (except the one labeled for him), it was stamped with the word "execution". He looked for details on how the "execution" would be carried out, but there were none, just the extensive profiles of the policemen. In his sober days, Gomez thought that this was coming—judgment to all their evils. He knew that they deserved it, but why not him too? Was he not evil enough?

            He read the folder for their chief, Colonel Marco Marquez, and he saw the date for the intended execution and to his surprise, it was scheduled for that same day. He quickly made his way back to the headquarters to look for the chief to warn him of his impending doom. Like a madman, he hastily made his way to the headquarters on foot while cold sweat raced down his neck.

            He passed by the eatery, where moments ago, he had just murdered an innocent man. However, the eatery is now crowded with people, along with a medical team and their ambulance, and a news team with a reporter interviewing Chief Marquez-- just the person Gomez was looking for.

"We shall not tolerate the misbehaviors of our men in the force and we shall punish them to the fullest extent of the law!" he heard the Chief say to the reporter.

"Chief! You are in danger!" Gomez called to his superior, drawing all the attention to him.

"There! This demon must be put to the hand of justice at once!" the chief then ordered two of the rookies in the force (who knew nothing of the misdeeds of their seniors), to seize Gomez.

            The Chief saw to it that Gomez would be seen before the camera while he preached about what loyalty and integrity is, as opposed to what Gomez had done. Gomez, on the other hand, continued to voice his warnings, but was unnoticed by the Chief, who was busy being a hypocrite. Then, as nobody expected, a huge explosion caught everybody's attention.

            Somebody from the headquarters called the chief, saying that the headquarters was blown up, with all the other policemen inside. He was about to tell who did it, but he was interrupted by a loud gunshot and his voice vanished. An unfamiliar voice took over and spoke.

"Greetings, Colonel Marquez!" a male voice said in a mock greeting. "The time has come for all of you evil ones to be punished!"

And his voice vanished in a crackle of static.

            In the blink of an eye, the chief's head suddenly blew up due to a well-placed shot to the head from a sniper. Everybody near him was splattered with blood and brain. The three remaining policemen (which included Gomez), went mad and ran in different directions, seeking for cover. But among the three, Gomez was driven mad the worst.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" he repeatedly asked out loud, and then he was knocked out unconscious.

            When he woke up, he found that he was in a glass chamber filled with an unfamiliar fluid and he was held in place by tubes which ran through his body. He could see a congregation of sunglass-wearing men standing before him and before the whole city. He then realized that he was on a stage, like a freak show. Beside him were the two rookie cops, and they were spared. However, he could hear what the leader of the sunglassed men was saying:

"Your police force is but a nuisance to you and to all the country," he began in a matter-of-factly manner. "They were supposed to serve and protect, but instead, they punished and enslaved you. We come here today; The Brotherhood of the Just, to bring down the mighty hand of justice upon these evil hearts and to lead you, the people, to a peaceful new era. The just from the unjust were selected, and there they are, standing beside the epitome of evil in the force, which in a few moments, would be immortalized, so that nobody else would wreak havoc like these men once did."

            Upon these words, a strange fluid was pumped to the tubes connected to Gomez's veins and he was poisoned from the inside. However, the leader of the Brotherhood explained that the fluid would preserve his body perfectly so as to serve as a concrete example to what the Brotherhood, the New Order, would do for the good of the people.

            All of Gomez’s memories came flashing right before as his eyes as the liquid of death slowly took over his system. He was reminded of his sick and twisted deeds as his life’s clock slowly ticked away. How he wished he could’ve changed his ways before this. The weight of his sins tore him away from the light of heaven and toward the fiery chasms of Hades. Although it was too late for one, a realization came to him:

“The good are rewarded the same and the evil are punished with the same amount of pain…”

"And that, my beloved masses," the leader announced, "is the beginning of a new era of peace and justice."

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Distant Memory

Once I knew how to smile;
Troubles no nearer than a mile.
'Tis heart once felt the light
And she was such a sight.


Yes, she was once so real.
Fate, with her arms, love she did steal.
Now I am in the dark
My only memory--a painful mark.


I lay six feet under ground
Still, she stalks me like a bloodhound.
But who is this woman--
Digs deep to my core of a man?


Deep, deep inside my mind,
I feel her lurk from behind
A wisp from my psyche
Was once mine, but has now broken free


Haunt me not anymore
Now, thou art not my paramour
Now an old surreal myth
Once told from between yellow teeth.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I Want to Feel Alive

I've been wondering
I've been listening
Am I still living?
Is this still breathing?


I've always felt weak
My true self I seek
Hold my hand
I want to take my stand


I've been through so much
Felt lonely so much
Trapped in my own cage
Been feeling so strange


I'm calling you
Make me new
My faith's with you
I want to feel new


I want to feel alive
I want to break free from myself
I want to be me again
Instead of this soulless mannequin
Together let's pray
And take me far away


Make me feel loved again
Take me back to heaven
I want to leave myself behind
And rise with a new mind


Take my hand
Help me stand
Paint a smile
In my life
Stay by me
Never leave
You are my last hope




I want to feel alive
I want to break free from myself
I want to be me again
Instead of this soulless mannequin
Together let's pray
And take me far away


Take me far away where I'll never see
Whatever atrocities I did to me
Make me see the dawn of a new light
Join me in my brand new fight

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Streak of Light

Hello, shooting star
A small streak of light
In the gloomy night
Take me somewhere far


Hiya, tiny light
Where are you going?
In here it's boring
C'mon, take my life


When will you be back
I've been out of luck
Wish you could take me
Far beyond the sea
Where no one can see


Hey, you bright specter
Why are you happy?
Why are you so free?
Write me a letter


Hola, estrella
Please take me with you
Anywhere will do
Take me away now


Wish you could
Give me back my smile
Give me back my life
Tell me how to
Be a better man
Be not who I am


All hope has left me
Love has forsaken me
Oh please let me see
What life has for me


Wish you could
Give me back my smile
Give me back my life
Tell me how to
Be a better man
Be not who I am


Turn not a deaf ear to me
Hear my weak but solemn plea


Take me away where I could live
Make me smile so I'll believe

Streak of Light

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Mortal Enemy

I am plagued by myself
My own reflection threatens me
My very existence crumbles inward
Save me from my self-destruction drive


I am a monster itching to come out
My soul is a timebomb; ticking my sanity away
My shadow smirks behind me; breathing words of hatred
Reach out your hand for me


I am a prison of sorts
My heart crammed full of sorrows and pain
My mind filled with unanswered questions
Hand me the key; free me from myself


I am a fearsome weapon
My hands bring forth messages of pain
My thought causes lives to shatter
Disarm me; release me from my curse


I am a potent poison
My blood smells like sulfur; it tastes like Death
My fluids burn through life like acid
Neutralize me; I'm a threat to myself


I am my mortal enemy
My own bitter deadly foe
My last hope is myself
Leave me be; lest you be harmed as well

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Embrace the Madness

Come hither, my son!
All love has been gone
You now need to run--
Run to the dark sun!

I've waited for you
From the oceans blue
To dark avenues
To have your eyes sewn!

You are weary, boy
To them you're a toy
A part of their ploy
And left you no joy

How cruel were they--
Tools in a mad play.
Join not their weak fray
Pray hard, my boy. PRAY!

Love was but a trick
Joys turned to be sick
Spent you like a wick
And broke your life's stick!

A stone you must be
Heart that cannot feel
Frozen yet so free
Take them all numbly!

Rise up, seek vengeance
Long was your penance
Wake up from your trance
With Death must they dance!

Here is my needle
Prick their hard mettle
Prepare your saddle
Ride on to battle!

Take my poisoned sword
Be cold like a fjord
Be harsh in your word
You are their true lord!

Share my boiling hate!
Murder their bright fate!
Forget your dear mate,
She hath loved to hate!

Burnt is your bright face
Here, take my black lace
Use my fat spiked mace
Proclaim your dead voice!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Await Her

Forever I shall now sleep
In heaven I shall forever weep


By death we were separated
From our fears we were liberated


But I will wait for her
Even if it takes my remaining forever


Rest I will not
Far beyond after my flesh had rot


I shall find you in your solace
And together we will burn in the holy furnace


For I have spent my earth loving you
So shall I spend my eternity the same way too


For you are the greatest mystery
You are my solemn love story


No mortal words could convey
Nor ethereal words could say


How much I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you, I love you


I have nothing more to lose
For a long time ago, it was you I chose


For I can never rest gently
Without feeling your love fully


I promise thee I shall linger
Until my poor soul put a ring on your surreal finger.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

To My Beautiful Illusion

She came to me one day
And I wanted her to stay--
Stay until my last day


She was my illusion realized
My soul was energized
And all the beauty in the world I realized.


The fount of my happiness
The reservoir of my sadness
Destroyer of my madness


She is my beloved light;
My source of might
And for her I would fight.


For she was something too lovely
If only; if only
I could hold her softly


Never would I let go
For I love you so
This you should know.